The NewAndImproved Warrior Code
by Groves of the Pass'd
Summary: Years had passed and the Clans have gotten bored of their Code. So a Random Warrior makes a new Code. Yeah, bad summary. Rated T just in case.


**First of all, I made this up while practicing my violin. **

**Second of all, this probably has been made up already so for those of you who already had this idea, don't flame this.**

**Thirdest, I know that isn't a word but OH WELL, people will probably do their own version of this after reading this fic.**

**Forther, again, this isn't a word, if you do I don't really care. It's your fic and I probably wouldn't bother ever looking at its title because I have the best idea.**

**Fitherest, I like to be rude in every one of your faces like this intro. Yes, I know, Fitherest isn't a word!!!**

**Sixest of all, yeah I play violin and I am good at it!**

**Seventh, for all you grammar geeks, don't point out mistakes. That makes authors feel bad. If you want to do that, become a damn book critic!**

**Eighths of all, GET ON WITH THE STORY!!!! **

_The Newly Changed and Revised and Modified and any word you can think of that means 'the better version, of the Warrior Code._

Long ago, when the Clans first came to be, the warriors of StarClan came up with the warrior code. Many moons of generations have gone by the warrior code. But now, the Clans have gotten bored.

So, one cat from StarClan decided to give the Clans a new code. They called it the 'New Warrior Code, made by a random and not important StarClan cat.'

These were the rules.

1.Defend the Clan, even with your life. Even though it is better to bet a pencil WITH AN ERASER, don't do it. Do it with your life. Your loyalty remains with your Clan except when the toms go bowling on Wednesdays.

2.Don't hunt or trespass on another's territory. Cats don't like it. But if you get drunk, you might wander around and trespass. Other Clans don't care. You're usually to dizzy to catch prey.

3.Elders must be fed first. Kits eat squished stuff. Apprentices can eat only if they knit at least one scarf for the queens.

4.Prey is killed only to be eaten and to be used for war-paint. Clans are gonna use war-paint in the distant future. Give thanks to StarClan and the Random Warrior for its life.

5.A kit must be six moons old to be an apprentice. It must also be at least five inches tall and weigh six pounds. If its not it will be an apprentice anyway.

6.Newly appointed warriors must sit silent vigil after their ceremony. But, they are allowed to play their Playstation Portable if they want.

7.A cat must only be deputy after mentoring at least one apprentice unless you defy this code. The Random Warrior and StarClan would want to punish you for that but they can't.

8.The deputy will be leader when the old one dies or retires but only if they believe in StarClan and the Random Warrior and bow down to them every five seconds.

9.After the death or retirement of the deputy the new one must be appointed before moon high but only if they believe in StarClan and the Random warrior and bow down to them every ten seconds.

10.A peaceful gathering at every full moon will be held with all four Clans. If a cat has a spaz attack, the leader of the cat must throw him\her\it out and continue with the meeting.

11.Boundries must be check and marked daily and must challenge all trespassers. No pistols can be used to warn off intruders, only machine guns.

12.No warrior may hurt a kit in pain or danger, even from another Clan. If the kit is in StarClan, it must bow down to The Ranks and the Random Warrior for the rest of eternity.

13.The word of the Clan leader is the code except this code because it is the code of the Random Warrior and StarClan. Or it the leader starts randomly break dancing at a Clan meeting.

14.An honorably warrior never kills another in cold-blood, only in the heat of the battle. They can only kill in cold-blood if they own a machine gun. Machine guns are cool.

15.A warrior rejects kittypet life. Kittypets suck.

Well, that's the New Code of the Random StarClan warrior. His name is Tallstar, after getting too high on catmint. Firestar smacked some sense into him and this code never happened.

I, IceWolf360, does not own Warriors. If I did, would I be writing _fan fiction_ right now???


End file.
